im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
