I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
