we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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