You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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