theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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