Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
