Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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  (860): I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John" http://tfl.nu/1on0
  Replies (19) Good night (4691) Bad night (1491)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.

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  (306): Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire. http://tfl.nu/uvyh
  Replies (10) Good night (4035) Bad night (1292)
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  (707): View more from California

  He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good

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  (707): He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good http://tfl.nu/rj3f
  Replies (19) Good night (5522) Bad night (1167)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.

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  (407): Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008. http://tfl.nu/vkb0
  Replies (9) Good night (4818) Bad night (919)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.

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  (504): Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself. http://tfl.nu/n9ey
  Replies (9) Good night (1103) Bad night (2941)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.

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  (404): What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/w7nv
  Replies (18) Good night (4687) Bad night (1312)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.

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  (920): I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice. http://tfl.nu/yj17
  Replies (3) Good night (1066) Bad night (2052)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.

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  (931): I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex. http://tfl.nu/p3z3
  Replies (20) Good night (1696) Bad night (4645)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.

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  (501): Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend. http://tfl.nu/du0y
  Replies (7) Good night (3249) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.

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  (910): I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier. http://tfl.nu/vwj3
  Replies (9) Good night (1412) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Where the royal fuck are you??

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  The depths of vodka hell.

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  (425): Where the royal fuck are you?? (1-425): The depths of vodka hell. http://tfl.nu/wloy
  Replies (13) Good night (2268) Bad night (807)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.

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  (803): I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly. http://tfl.nu/xwln
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (813)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina

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  (817): Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina http://tfl.nu/3njj
  Replies (5) Good night (455) Bad night (776)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost

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  (775): Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost http://tfl.nu/neal
  Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (427)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.

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  (250): He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now. http://tfl.nu/hi6o
  Replies (11) Good night (608) Bad night (625)

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