we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
