Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  life is too short to starve

  (678): View more from Georgia

  life is also too short to be fat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): life is too short to starve (678): life is also too short to be fat http://tfl.nu/v94u
  Replies (6) Good night (2569) Bad night (1359)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9" http://tfl.nu/v0g1
  Replies (52) Good night (4642) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  You smell like a Billy Joel song

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): You smell like a Billy Joel song http://tfl.nu/8lk7
  Replies (7) Good night (922) Bad night (2074)
• Favorite

  (+32): View more from Belgium

  Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+32): Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello. http://tfl.nu/agdc
  Replies (55) Good night (7136) Bad night (1544)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight. http://tfl.nu/4ka1
  Replies (120) Good night (1223) Bad night (4498)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working. http://tfl.nu/apns
  Replies (8) Good night (855) Bad night (4045)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/8hoe
  Replies (17) Good night (3726) Bad night (1522)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment http://tfl.nu/hmt1
  Replies (17) Good night (1137) Bad night (4781)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming. http://tfl.nu/efp8
  Replies (4) Good night (936) Bad night (2583)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?! http://tfl.nu/z97b
  Replies (11) Good night (3134) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside. http://tfl.nu/x4yl
  Replies (5) Good night (1660) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable? http://tfl.nu/73t2
  Replies (4) Good night (2672) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Some girl just showed me her stretch marks

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You need to get out of tn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Some girl just showed me her stretch marks (757): You need to get out of tn http://tfl.nu/alqm
  Replies (7) Good night (561) Bad night (1582)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt http://tfl.nu/sk35
  Replies (4) Good night (1152) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home. http://tfl.nu/62h6
  Replies (5) Good night (762) Bad night (433)

Randomize