Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.

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  (818): Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you. http://tfl.nu/btkl
  Replies (11) Good night (6936) Bad night (1316)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...

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  (613): His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat... http://tfl.nu/xzfb
  Replies (13) Good night (1096) Bad night (3316)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund

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  (614): ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund http://tfl.nu/czuk
  Replies (8) Good night (2693) Bad night (1484)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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  (541): side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children. http://tfl.nu/bng1
  Replies (2) Good night (3508) Bad night (1194)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo

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  (920): It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo http://tfl.nu/s2q1
  Replies (2) Good night (1224) Bad night (894)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius

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  (254): Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius http://tfl.nu/icdq
  Replies (11) Good night (1979) Bad night (1031)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.

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  (865): I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on. http://tfl.nu/71nz
  Replies (5) Good night (1856) Bad night (683)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.

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  (406): Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night. http://tfl.nu/g42n
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (516)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I hugged the bouncer as we left.

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  (505): I hugged the bouncer as we left. http://tfl.nu/rbxh
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (399)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It happened again.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  What?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.

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  (651): It happened again. (612): What? (651): I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now. http://tfl.nu/fx7i
  Replies (8) Good night (1946) Bad night (603)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall

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  (708): At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall http://tfl.nu/xpwv
  Replies (5) Good night (441) Bad night (924)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.

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  (516): I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch. http://tfl.nu/npbk
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (343)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."

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  (231): When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow." http://tfl.nu/oct6
  Replies (4) Good night (410) Bad night (826)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.

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  (315): He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate. http://tfl.nu/3a8i
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (270)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.

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  (315): Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week. http://tfl.nu/4elf
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (223)

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