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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

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• (516): View more from New York

  we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class

  (914): View more from New York

  isnt today saturday?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ...i wondered where i left that...

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.

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• (916): View more from California

  I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving

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