Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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