That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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