I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize