Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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