You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
