i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
