I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
