and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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