Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
