your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
