Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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