We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
