Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think your dad took our porno
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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