Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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