member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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