guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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