I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize