It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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