i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
