Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
