No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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