I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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