he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
