Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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