know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
