Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
