those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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