I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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