I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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