Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
