I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
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lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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