I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
