Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
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