New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
