and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
