Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
