i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
