Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
