hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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