thus making me awesome and them whores
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize