I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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