Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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