yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
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Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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