They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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