i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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