; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize