Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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