and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
