Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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