Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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