It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
